craplos: ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
spookymormon: spookymormon: my mom always texts me rude things so ive just started replying with an emoji of an eggplant and it gets her so pissed it’s great
gatissimo: Can we just have a moment of silence for those poor teens whose parents monitor their internet usage
How to Know When a Woman is Mad
businessofmisery-: these ladies are my idols
kauvera: supernatural-aka-tearsandgay: wiener-cest: demeaniac: STOP SCROLLING straighten your back, mate NOW GO ON woah thanks i really needed that today tumblr user demeaniac doing little favors for tumblr one post at a time FUCK THIS POST HAS SHOWED UP LIKE 10 TIMES TODAY AND I HAVE BEEN HUNCHED OVER EVERY FUCKING TIME PLEASE KEEP THIS GOING it is the best reminder for me ever...
15hypens: in 7th grade we had this german teacher who immigrated to america from Germany about 23 years ago and one guy in my class thought it would be funny to ask him “Hey, because you’re german does that make you a Nazi?” and in a very thick german accent he replies “Hey, because you’re a white american boy, does that make you a slaveholder?” and the kid never tried to be funny in that class...
awkwardvagina: so i googled gangster goose and let me tell you that i was not disappointed
apatheticghost: my dad just yelled “IT SOUNDS LIKE YOURE MAKING OUT WITH SOMEONE YOU BETTER NOT HAVE A BOY IN THERE”
mom and dad WE'RE PREGNANT!! →
Watch what happens when I tell my mom she has a surprise coming in September. What you don’t know is that it took us 3 years to get pregnant. We thought we c… the dads reaction is the best thing since sliced bread
If bands were students:
Fall Out Boy: The witty one that everyone likes. Was off school for a long time but is back now. Everyone missed him.
My Chemical Romance: The sensitive one who helped anyone he could. Left school in 2013
Panic! At The Disco: The kid Fall Out Boy took under his wing. Likes big words.
Blink-182: The funny one that hides behind their jokes.
Green Day: The kid in the year above that everyone looks up to.
Sleeping With Sirens & Pierce The Veil: The inseparable best friends.
Fun: The averagely known kid who wrote a one really good essay and became popular overnight.
30 Seconds To Mars: The arty one who likes to make films.
Muse & Coldplay: The massively popular ones.
All Time Low: Looks up to Blink-182. Similar sense of humour to him.
Paramore: The pretty one.
Bring Me The Horizon: The one who looks scary, but is actually quite nice.
You Me At Six: The fashionable one.
Avenged Sevenfold: The metalhead who sits at the back of the class with his headphones in and gets into trouble all the time.
Of Mice and Men: The one who seems rather tough on the outside but is really sensitive on the inside and loves his mom like no other.
xthegirlwithkaleidoscopeeyesx: Legit reasons to hate Justin Bieber: He said rape happens for a reason. When asked to try out veganism he made a big show of gagging on and spitting out a vegan steak that had been ordered for him. When he visited Anne Franks house, he wrote in the guest book that he hoped “she would have been a belieber”. He’s a spoiled little brat. Not legit reasons to hate...
conor-cymex: mydogsnokes: i will not buy flowers for a girl because flowers are stupid and worthless and they die like really fast. get a girl a rock. rocks are strong. rocks don’t die after 2 days diamond the word you’re looking for is diamond